


Say My Name

by lookingglassalice6



Series: Marvel One-Shots And Drabbles [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 08:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20094112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookingglassalice6/pseuds/lookingglassalice6
Summary: Wade is having a baby…well, technically you are but he’s hoping he gets to pick the name anyway





	Say My Name

“You shot me.” Wade stared at you in mock horror.

“To get your attention. You’re acting like a psycho.” You inhaled slowly.

“Please refrain from shooting anyone in the hospital. Give me that syringe.” The nurse wrestled the empty object out of your hand.

“Way to go, that syringe of whatever just cost us 500 dollars.” Wade wiped his face.

“I’ll be right back with another irrigation solution. No one touch anything!” The nurse gave a huff of disgust and left the room.

“She’s delightful. We should invite her to a threesome.” Wade hopped into the hospital bed with you.

“Sure, as soon as my vagina is rebuilt.” You cringed as another contraction rippled through your stomach.

“Can they make it bionic? Cause that’d be super” Wade rubbed your back.

“What would a bionic vagina be able to do that mine can’t?”

“Stay perky?”

You laughed and leaned forward as Wade kept rubbing and another contraction came.

“Fuck those fuckers! ‘Oh, the baby will take hours to get here’. The little shit is barreling out of me.” You groaned.

“He’s crazy. I love it in there. Even if it’s not perky as it used to be. Now, if you’re done squirting fluids at me, back to the names. I’m not sure you gave Steven Grant Rogers Jr. a fair chance.” Wade pulled you into his shoulder and you laid your head down.

“Wade…Captain America is not this baby’s father.”

“But everyone will think he is! Imagine it.” Wade swept his free hand through the air.

“I just feel like it would make working at SHIELD strange. I have to see Steve’s husband every day, just very awkward.” You shook your head.

“Todd?” Wade was poking at the buttons on the bed.

“I said no!” You slapped his hand from the buttons.

“Celine Cher?”

“Hmm, too showy. He would have to really live up to it.” You smirked up at him.

“You are just no fun at all today,” Wade sighed. “Now, about the nanny-”

“Cable already told you no. And the ‘naughty nanny’ costume you sent him just made him punch you.” You breathed through another contraction.

“Yeah, I guess he has something against crotchless, I don’t know.”

“It’s a mystery.”

Wade looked down, tilting your head back so you could see him.

“Sorry I was acting, as you put it, psycho. This is just so huge. Right? Like, after today we are not, not parents anymore. Not to mention we don’t even know if this kid is boring like you, or amazing like me…and Spider-Man.”

“Peter isn’t a mutant.” You raised an eyebrow.

“No, but the joke was there and I had to take it. The people expect that of me.” Wade looked to a spot above your head as he said this.

“That’s why I shot you, stop talking to the third wall. Speaking of, is the third wall going to see me all spread eagle during labor?”

“Baby, they’ve seen much worse. They saw the conception, it’s only fair they get to see the outcome.” Wade stood up and rubbed his hands together. “Let’s see what we’ve got here.”

“Get out of there! The nurse said not to touch anything.” You tried to hold the sheet covering you down as Wade lifted it. He kept trying to look and soon he had you laughing, even if it hurt like hell.


End file.
